15 Questions You Should Ask Before (and after) Marriage

marriage cake topper

The New York Times sent out a survey to married couples in order to shed some light on the 15 most important questions you should ask before you decide to tie the knot. We've summarized these questions for you just in case you are thinking about taking that next big step in life. Marriage is a wonderful blessing when both individuals take the right steps to prepare and continue working on it together. Make sure you can both answer these questions.

1) Have we discussed if we want to have children? If yes, then is someone going to stay home?

2) Do we understand each other’s financial goals? Do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for who will manage what chore around the house?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories: physically and mentally?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom or in the living room?

8) Do we listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs? And have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are not prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Do we feel confident in the each other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

If you got through those questions pretty easily, you should check out 1001 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married by Monica Leahy. Monica does a fantastic job of getting you to think about questions that you would have never thought to ask yourself. My wife and I read through a similar book before marriage and it provided dozens of conversations that helped us really prepare for marriage that we might not have had otherwise.